Kabbalah Kronicles 19– The Kabbalah of Love
By
Uncle Zally, Zalman Velvel
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It’s Shabbos morning, another Kabbalah Klass. This is a very eclectic group, the most eclectic so far. My friend, the world famous speaker, is in Chicago, selling people on the idea of investing in real estate – after we’ve had a devastating five years investing in real estate in this country. In his absence, I brought another friend of mine, from The Land Down Under. Ironically, he is also a famous speaker about real estate – and his country has had a fantastic five years of investing in real estate.
That is what makes the Kabbalah Kookie Krumble.
There is a beautiful and exciting group of ladies, both young and old : the widow who is on a personal basis with God, the rabbi’s stunning sister-in-law who’s recently divorced, a woman with a cane who has been teaching for 40 years, and a young pretty woman who has been struggling with a debilitating illness, while converting to Judaism and studying Kabbalah.
Rabbi Itchy asked me to summarize our Klasses up to now, and I did. As I was doing this, Dr. Toomler interrupted and objected to every conclusion I made. That is his role in our group, to disagree with whomever else is speaking. Sometimes his interruptions are very funny, and in my opinion, that is a free pass to interrupt. Speaking of funny, the professional comedian and my comedy writing buddy is not here, and I miss him.
Rabbi Itchy asks me if there are any topics that we did not cover about communicating with God through prayer, and the path toward being a better person by being in touch with our Godly Soul.
“No,” I reply.
What do I know? My mind is made of Silly Putty now. I am boggled by prayer, and the answers I am getting there. Plus I have all this brain noise from the two Souls that are warring inside of me, the Animal Soul and the Godly Soul. I used to be able to think straight before Kabbalah Klass. Now, I’m a soul adrift in a sea of mysticism.
“Then, let’s talk about love,” Rabbi Itchy continued.Now this is funny. The Rabbi is a Hasid who has only been intimate with one woman his whole life, and his only dates consisted of meeting for coffee and discussing marriage … and now he’s going to teach us about love.
I wish my comedy writing buddy was here. He’s been married three times, been with lots of ladies after being on television and going on concert tours, and by his own admission (and Jerry Seinfeld’s), he traded a promising career in comedy for the favors of passionate women … and never looked back. Now he could really teach us about love …
I smile and imagine him dressed like a Hasid, lecturing us. Rabbi Itchy continued. He said, “If someone categorized why most people fall in love and marry, it’s because of how the other person looks, or the things they do for you. Do you agree?”
“Yes, I think that sums it up pretty well,” I answer back, knowing full well he is setting a trap for me.
“But is that true love?” he asks.
I’m not committing one way or the other now. Neither is anyone else.
“What happens when the other person’s looks change, or they stop doing the things they did for you? Will you still love them?” the Rabbi asks. “Isn’t true love supposed to last through everything?”
We all nod our heads, a group where there are at least twice as many divorces as there are people.
“In order for love to last, the Kabbalah says you have to love the part of your mate that does not change,” the Rabbi continues.I question that.
“But people change all the time, Rabbi. What is there about a person that does not change?”
“Their essence. According to Kabbalah, our essence never changes, it is the best part of us … our Godly soul.”
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A look around the room reveals that all the women are nodding their heads, agreeing with the Rabbi, and all the men are shaking their heads, not knowing what the heck he’s talking about.
“But what if someone’s Animal Soul is driving you crazy, while their Godly soul is just sitting there, eating a blinza?” I ask.
“You have to forgive the part of them that is driving you crazy, and help them to get in touch with their essence, the part you really love.”
“How do you do this?” I ask.
“Through communication,” is the answer I am given.
“I do that all the time Rabbi,” I answer back. “But my wife’s idea of communication is listing all my faults, all the things that I need to change about myself. And the list always grows, it never gets shorter. When I say, “Hey, I was like this when we met, and you agreed to marry me for life,” she says, “Hey, just because I agreed to marry you, doesn’t mean I agreed to accept you that way.”
After 40 years of marriage, my wife’s list of what I need to change about myself would fill the sheet to my left … and part of another.“Well, Zalman,” the Rabbi answers, “if communicating is not working well at the moment, then try prayer. You can always ask God for His help.”
“I do that all the time, Rabbi. I say, ‘Please God, give me the strength to love this woman while she is telling me how unlovable I am, over and over … and over … and over.’ ”
I threw in one more “and over” because it got a big laugh.
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Truth be told, the part of this discussion between the two lines of asterisks only happened in my imagination, not in Kabbalah Klass. Rabbi Itchy has been on sabbatical for the last three weeks, and we haven’t had a chance to delve deeper into the process of how you love someone’s essence, while the rest of them is making you want to choke the life out of them. I thought it might be nice to have a little fun in the meantime, while the Rabbi was gone. So stay tuned for a future blog, when we answer the question, “How can you stay happily married for life?” and once again, Kabbalah will supply the answer to one of life’s great mysteries.
Isn’t that why they call it “mysticism?”
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